"What 's in a name?
That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
~William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet~
All slaves are submissives, but not all submissives are slaves. And bottoms may or may not be submissives. All three to some degree perform acts of submission. The main differences are the reasons for the submission and the degree to which it is given.
Definitions
The following definitions are from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary:
submissive - submitting to others.
slave - 2: one that is completely subservient to a dominating influence
My Definitions:
Submissive - One who derives their primary pleasure from pleasing their Dominant. Sexual pleasure is a secondary reward, the real reward is knowing they have pleased their Dominant. A submissive may or may not enjoy painplay. The submissive has limits and the right to insist they not be violated.
Slave - A submissive who through deeply developed trust reliquishes their limits. A slave may express feelings, needs, thoughts, desires (limits) to their Dominant the same as a submissive. However, the slave has relinquished their total power to their Dominant and will accept the decission of their Dominant without question. I view it as the ultimate act of submission.
Bottom - One who submits primarly for sexual pleasure. Most bottoms enjoy painplay. Sexual pleasure is the primary reward and reason for submission. A bottom is unlikely to submit to something they will not derive sexual pleasure from.
Other Definitions:
Bottom - (from Drink's Glossary) The individual who is controlled in the context of the scene. Different from Submissive in that Bottom is most often used for someone in the submissive role in a painplay scene.
I asked my dear friend bj_MS (collared slave of another dear friend Mistress_Strict) to let me know what she sees as the difference between being a submissive and a slave. The following is her reply:
Ma'am,
i heard a long time ago that a submissive is a slave in training and i agree with this. A submissive gives up control to a certain extent and trusts that her/his Dom/me will respect this. submissives have limits both hard and soft and may question their Dom/me at times. in the beginning of a relationship the submissive tells the Dom/me what those limits are and depending on how the relationship is, those limits could be worked on so that eventually they will all be soft limits. from there the soft limits turn to no limits. the submissive keeps some control in as it is up to the submissive how far those limits could be stretched.
slave has no limits and gives up complete control to her/his Dom/me. the slave puts complete trust in her/his Dom/me when he/she gives up her/his power. a slave could have limits and make it known to the Dom/me, but knows that it is the choice of the Dom/me if these limits would be respected and accepts without question any decision the Dom/me makes.
bj_MS
The main differences as I see them:
A sub continues to choose when, how, and whether to submit just prior to each act of submission. A slave has given total and complete submission and there is no longer any choice but to submit. A bottom submits in order to achieve sexual pleasure.
Is one better than the other? In my opinion no. It all depends on what one is looking for and the main reason one is practicing domination.
If I am desiring a casual play scene a bottom can suit my needs just fine provided we share common desires for the type of scene and play to be done. When I am in that mode I am Topping and not acting as a Mistress.
As a Mistress I desire to own and posses someone body, heart,mind and soul. For this only a true submissive will do. A bottom can not give me what I need. I need devotion based not on sexual pleasure, but pleasure derived from fulfilling me and my needs.
I do not however, desire to have a slave. The reason is simple - I don't want the responsibility. I believe that if one accepts the ultimate gift of submission that one also accepts the ultimate responsibility for that person. This is not something to be entered into lightly.
Some do not desire the responsibility of being a Mistress/Master, but want more than just a Top/bottom relationship. For this person a bottom with sub qualities works well. While the bottom is still motivated primarily by sexual pleasure/reward he/she is also able to derive pleasure from serving the Dominant.
Yes, there are differences between the three. But much like different variety of roses.
by Loving_Mistress all rights reserved 1998-2003
Email: Loving_Mistress@yahoo.com
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